• Art and Culture

  Comedy is acting out optimism.

  4.7 · 25 votes · 95 reads

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• Art and Culture

  Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

  3.8 · 36 votes · 63 reads

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• Society

  Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.

  5.0 · 5 votes · 60 reads

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• Art and Culture

  Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah.

  4.7 · 15 votes · 193 reads

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• Art and Culture

  For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even wit

  3.1 · 55 votes · 18 reads

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• Art and Culture

  From the point of view of being in the public radar, comedians have less problems than other actors. Action movie stars like Stallone or Schwarzenegger usually attract the more aggressive fans.

  4.9 · 63 votes · 53 reads

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• Countries

  Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

  4.7 · 38 votes · 132 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being

  3.5 · 49 votes · 187 reads

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• Countries

  I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.

  4.6 · 62 votes · 36 reads

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• Science and Technology

  I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours.

  4.4 · 43 votes · 123 reads

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• Feelings

  I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.

  3.0 · 24 votes · 141 reads

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• Nature

  I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.

  4.4 · 27 votes · 184 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!'

  3.3 · 34 votes · 173 reads

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• Countries

  I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish.

  4.7 · 12 votes · 178 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken.

  3.2 · 26 votes · 30 reads

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• Nature

  I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

  3.3 · 36 votes · 63 reads

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• Time

  I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

  3.5 · 20 votes · 123 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born.

  5.0 · 62 votes · 100 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way.

  4.5 · 9 votes · 194 reads

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• Government and Politics

  I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done.

  3.7 · 57 votes · 55 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

  3.3 · 61 votes · 93 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I think 'Dead Poets' was probably my favorite, just to get started with the idea of doing a movie that people treated as more than a movie.

  4.2 · 9 votes · 179 reads

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• Nature

  I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.

  5.0 · 16 votes · 40 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I was only a leading man for a minute; now I'm a character actor.

  4.9 · 45 votes · 185 reads

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• Art and Culture

  I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it.

  3.5 · 17 votes · 111 reads

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• Thought and Reason

  I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

  3.9 · 17 votes · 53 reads

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• Society

  If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing.

  4.4 · 11 votes · 154 reads

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• Defects

  If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

  5.0 · 53 votes · 157 reads

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• Nature

  If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

  4.2 · 11 votes · 8 reads

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• Countries

  In America they really do mythologise people when they die.

  3.8 · 49 votes · 117 reads

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• Art and Culture

  In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.

  3.5 · 32 votes · 31 reads

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• Art and Culture

  It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work.

  4.2 · 59 votes · 126 reads

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• Science and Technology

  Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.

  4.1 · 22 votes · 107 reads

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• Government and Politics

  Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

  3.8 · 8 votes · 129 reads

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• Society

  No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

  4.7 · 62 votes · 133 reads

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• Government and Politics

  Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly.

  4.1 · 26 votes · 42 reads

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• Art and Culture

  Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

  3.6 · 26 votes · 170 reads

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• Art and Culture

  Reality: What a concept!

  4.9 · 57 votes · 20 reads

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• Art and Culture

  Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money.

  4.6 · 31 votes · 159 reads

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• Nature

  Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

  4.3 · 51 votes · 11 reads

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Page 1 of 2 · 63 quotes

What they wrote about

• Cinema14 of their quotes
• Acting8 of their quotes
• America5 of their quotes
• Women3 of their quotes
• Humor3 of their quotes
• Politics3 of their quotes